Aggressive anger is marked by abusive and violent behavior towards the target. Whereas, those who exhibit passive anger often convey their displeasure and sometimes prefer not to talk and completely avoid the person who made them angry.
Tame your Temper
Regularly practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises and yoga can certainly help in managing anger effectively.
Anger is often described as a temporary response to events that hurt us physically, psychologically, or emotionally. Though an integral part of life, anger can be a tricky feeling, sometimes difficult to handle.
As it is often outwardly directed, if not controlled, it can hurt people we love the most. Depending upon its nature, anger can be classified into the following types:
Passive Anger
In this type of anger, people express their emotion in an indirect way. There is no direct communication, instead it is conveyed sarcastically.
Passive anger is also described as a non-verbal form of aggression, since the person may communicate his feeling through negative responses such as through angry gestures.
This is often accompanied by negative body language such as ignoring people, avoiding eye contact or looking away from the person, poor posture, procrastination, and sulking.
In passive anger, people bottle up their feeling, rather than venting it out. There is a change in behavior such as isolating oneself from friends, which often makes people around uncomfortable. Such people appear calm but experience inner turmoil and anxiety.
Passive-aggressive people will not talk to the person who made them angry, instead vent out their frustration through indirect channels such as by gossiping or spreading terrible, malicious rumors against him.
Aggressive Anger
This anger is expressed directly and is often marked by an outburst of negative emotions.
Aggressive anger is an extreme form that can spell trouble to whomsoever the anger is directed. This anger makes the person shout and even hit the targeted recipient.
It is an aggressive way of expressing your negative feelings wherein the recipient is threatened, verbally abused, and often manhandled. Road rage incidents are one of the most common examples of the aggressive type of anger.
Gestures such as sharp jabbing of the index finger during confrontation are also interpreted as an aggressive form of anger.
Assertive Anger
Assertive style of anger is often considered as a healthy way to express anger.
Assertive anger directed to an individual is conveyed in the most responsible manner through assertive communication. Here, aggression or uncontrolled bursts of emotions do not come into picture.
As such, there is no damage to the relationship because the person communicates properly about the reason behind his anger and moreover, is ready to take full responsibility if he has made someone angry.
The individual does not hold any grudge or show disrespect. People with an assertive style of anger expression do not overact or behave rudely in an anger-inducing situation. Also, unlike in other styles of anger, there is no scope for misunderstandings due to proper communication.
Retaliatory Anger
This anger stems from perceived injustices, sparking a desire for revenge against the offender. Common triggers include harassment and not receiving deserved recognition or compensation despite efficient work.
Self-inflicted Anger
This is a self-injury behavior because the individual is angry with himself. This self-directed anger often results in hurting oneself.
Having prolonged and excessive guilt feelings is the main reason of self-inflicted anger. Failing to crack an interview or being unable to complete a given assignment resulting in missed opportunities leads to self-inflicted anger.
Constructive Anger
Anger, when channeled constructively, drives positive social change by addressing everyday issues effectively.
Constructive anger involves making anger your ally and often manifests in the form of protests, for instance against unlawful activities or racial discrimination. Here, one does not personalize the anger but rather focuses on issues that are affecting society as a whole.
Habitual Anger
When someone gets angry over small matters regularly, they're deemed habitually angry, constantly expressing frustration over minor things. Living with such a person can be quite challenging.
They seem to be in constant anger, which can be unhealthy and adversely affect their emotional well-being. Keep in mind, anger should be an occasional response but if it starts 'visiting' every now and then, it can become a source of annoyance or amusement for others.
Judgmental Anger
People exhibiting this type of anger misjudge someone and downgrade him by making insensitive remarks. Their habit of forming a wrong opinion about others makes them resent people. They misjudge people and be-little them.
Paranoid Anger
In this anger, the individual exhibits distrust and unnecessary suspicion, feeling others are trying to undermine or intimidate them. Jealousy towards others is common, as they fear losing something to someone else.
Shame-based Anger
Those with shame-based anger cannot handle criticism and lash out at those who shame or embarrass them with scathing remarks. Even minor criticism triggers their volatile and potentially violent reactions.
For instance, say, you innocently give a nickname to your friend but if that nickname reminds him of a traumatic childhood incident of personal shame, then calling him with that name will set off his shame-based anger.
Considering different types of anger, anger can be destructive ( cause self-harm or harm to others) or constructive, which is positively directed to highlight socially relevant issues. However, it is only through assertive communication that one can calm angry people.
Remember, uncontrolled anger can hurt your near and dear ones, whereas controlled anger when expressed properly, can help develop and nurture relationships.